a changing heart .

i tried .

2009-02-26T03:48:00.000-08:00

i tried .

but i guess that would leave most of you people in question .
questions ,
answers .

so what if it was answered .
you would still question that question .
weird huh .
i know .

then i started asking myself .
why are you even blogging ?
so i answered .
cause im bored .
then i asked again so why are you bored ?
i answered back , maybe im not bored , i just want to spill how i feel and have an excuse not to do my science punishment .

i guess if i continued asking ,
it would never end .

this post has totally no meaning at all . urg . i think im stopping here .

happy birthday bestie :} ily .

sometimes ;

2009-02-21T23:32:00.001-08:00

teehees , marx & me the conversation .
i found it really retarded so yeah .
HERE IT IS :D

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes i walk

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes i fly

Bel ;:
sometimes , i cry .

Bel ;:
sometimes , i talk .

Bel ;:
sometimes , i scream .

Bel ;:
hello marx :D

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes i dont breathe

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
hello belinda :D

Bel ;:
sometimes , i hold my breath !

Bel ;:
sometimes , i dance

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , i cheat

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
DANCE

Bel ;:
sometimes , i runaway .

Bel ;:
somtimes , i laugh until i cry

Bel ;:
sometimes , i laugh at you ! :D

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , i think you're crazy

Bel ;:
sometimes , i think you are weird

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you look weird

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you look attractive

Bel ;:
sometimes , i act weird .

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
*but not all th time

Bel ;:
sometimes , you look hot .

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes you look cold

Bel ;:
sometimes , i try to stare at you but i couldn't

Bel ;:
sometimes , i feel cold .

Bel ;:
sometimes , i feel alone ):

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you talk to much

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you think too much

Bel ;:
sometimes , words are better left unsaid .

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you say too much

Bel ;:
sometimes , i like you alot .

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , friends are th best

Bel ;:
but sometimes , you scare me

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , steads are statues

Bel ;:
sometimes , love gets so blur , you dont know anymore .

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you don't know wht's love

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
HAHA

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
backspace for wad

Bel ;:
sometimes , i feel like i dont know whats love

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
xD

Bel ;:
hahha .

Bel ;:
cause i had to schange

Bel ;:
change*

Bel ;:
lol .

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you rush

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometime's you dont wait

Bel ;:
sometimes , i run and i dont ever want to stop .

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you're impatient

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
thts impossible -.-

Bel ;:
sometimes , you are hateful

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you're bad

Bel ;:
sometimes , you are evil

Bel ;:
but sometimes , know you are here makes me smile

Bel ;:
knowing*

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , i like talking to you

Bel ;:
sometimes , i feel like i dont know you .

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes ,

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
lol

Bel ;:
hahah .

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you say hahah

Bel ;:
sometimes , i get really hyper :]

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , you so emo

Bel ;:
sometimes , i think i'm really glad i know you .

Bel ;:
sometimes , after something happened , i guess being alone will heal it .

Bel ;:
sometimes , i hate myself for how i've changed

Bel ;:
sometimes , i try .

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes, talk to me about you

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes , i like to ppoke into peoples bs

Bel ;:
sometimes , i agreed you are kpo .

Bel ;:
sometimes , i guess you are more important than me

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes, you do not know wht you're saying

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes, BELINDA SHOULD LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

Bel ;:
SOMETIMES ,i try , but i fail

Bel ;:
sometimes ,im scared of what might happen

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
lol

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
dont sometimes , lerh

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
veh boring

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
i copy and paste th

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes ,

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
lol

Bel ;:
hahah

Bel ;:
no wonder jes now you type so fast

Bel ;:
ahahas

Bel ;:
omg
Bel ;:

im gonna blog about this

Bel ;:
so fun !

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
lol

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
sometimes ,

Bel ;:
yeah

Bel ;:
yeha

Bel ;:
yeah

Bel ;:
hahah

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
hmmm

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
wht's belinda doing ?

Bel ;:
eating ice cream

Bel ;:
what is marx doing ?

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
err..

[c=48] [ MaRxIE ] [/c] just dance 7/2/09 [/c] says:
nothing

well , that was prettymuch our conversation :D haha .
sometimes .
I FALL .

Rant on twilight : no offence people !

2009-02-19T05:22:00.000-08:00

ahh . okay . so people has started saying it on blogs , websites everywhere since twilight came out .
so i think i should whine about it a little , it seems fun anyways :}

haha .
okay , first i think stephen king (x3) is totally right .
the words that he said about Meyer .
people only like it cause it refects well on their love life and such .
Stephen king writes real good books ,
compared to Meyer , that is .
i mean , dont you people agree ?
read a Meyer book then read a Stephen king book ,
SEE THE DIFFERENCE ?

hey , got an issue about what i said ?
haha .
no offence really , im more of a Stephen king person :D

Plus if you want to know more , check out this website : http://community.sparknotes.com/index.php/2009/02/05/stephanie-meyer-cant-write-worth-a-darn/

PERFECT , world ...

2009-02-07T07:04:00.000-08:00

in a perfect world , this could never happen ..
in a perfect world , you'd still be here .
& i thought that i was strong until the day it all went away .
i wish that i could bring you back
i just cant find my way without you ..

i dont know why i cried .
it was then that i realised how important you are to me than all the other things .
i was scared ,
i was scared to lose you .

i cant stop crying ,
i cant stop this fear .
& baby ,
right now ,
i cant let go of you .

even though words arent enough to keep our conversations going ,
i hope theres still this burning need for you to need me ,
for you to want me .

im scared love .
and i find it harder to breathe without you .

jona , love .
for me ,
promise me you wont let this thing go .

BESTFRIENDS ? im trying , and its getting better everyday .

2009-02-06T02:55:00.000-08:00

I just wanna be alone tonight , take a little breather
Cause lately all we do is fight , and every time it cuts me deeper
Cause something’s changed & You’ve been acting so strange
its taking its toll on me , now Its safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave...
im fine , without you .

held on to this for so long and i'd always thought that it would work
but not now , not anymore .
when i realised the lies and more of the lies you've continued to say .
i felt like i trusted the wrong person all along .
iris .. i've got nothing more to say .

when you said those words to others , saying that i did not keep my promise ..
you never once asked why i even reacted this way .

BESTFRIENDS dont make use of each other ,
Bestfriends dont take a tic for a tac .
bestfriends dont do that .

when you told me you were making use of me ,
have you thought of how i felt ,
that every now and then ,
everytime we hanged together ,
everytime we pour out our feelings , it was all just a LIE .

then when you said ,
oh , you did that to me thats why i purposely do it back to you ..
why must you do that , why not just tell me .
im changing , you're changing , so why not just tell me .
why must you always make yourself win know that by winning you already lost ?

you said ,
you diao me so i diao you back ...
it doesnt even make sense ;

you said ,
from last time and now ,
you've changed .
well , i guess i did .
i changed ,
BECAUSE I SAW THE TRUTH .

and now i find it hard to even forgive you .

sometimes , irun .

2009-02-03T03:12:00.000-08:00

i feel cheated .
i feel dead .
cold , so cold .
numb . so numb that i cant feel anything at all .

baby , where are you when i need you so badly , where are you ?
right now , my hand feels so weak and powerless typing ,
i cant walk on my own , i take only bites of those tasteless food .
do you know how awful i'm feeling now ?
i just need you but .. nothing. no one . not a voice nor a sound .
everywhere surrounding me is so empty .
like our picture ripped apart into two , burning in flames .
i dont know , to move or not to .
it sucks feeling like that , but i have to take it .
even without you ...

then i realised ,
i'm alone , here .
theres nothing , that makes me feel alive now .

baby , where are you ?

-with love , bel .

everything i do ; i do it for you ...

2009-01-11T02:54:00.001-08:00

Look into my eyes ..
you will see What you mean to me
Search your heart ;search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for ,
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for ,
but you know tht its true ,
that Everything I do ; I do it for you .

-

i've always like that pretty sky ;

it was even prettier when i saw it with you ...
that day , that moment , it was so perfect , there was no way to doubt it .

it didnt mind if i were to die now , i finally got what i wanted .
what i ever wanted .
though life is as fragile as a thin line , im jes glad tht i get to spend now with you .

love , it nourishes from below .

2009-01-10T23:44:00.000-08:00

its weird how love , start off so sweetly then end up to be such a blur ..
i'm scared , very scared .
i dont want to know what the future would be like for me & him .
i dont want to lose him ..
even though i've been there so many times before ,
i dont want , i dont want , i dont want !
not now not ever .
i want him for now , for-ever .
i dont want to have to live with on a memory of his smile , his laughter .
i dont want to lose him .

i love you jonathan lua ,
thankyou for making everyday , the happiest days of my life .

---------------------------------------

here , i'd like to wish dylan & kendrick a very big happy birthday !
have a merry birthday alrights ?

OHYA ,
and to all c girls volleyball people ALL THE BEST IN SOUTH ZONE ALRIGHTS ?
hahah . im sure as united as our team are , we are sure to win them :}

i told you i love you but .. what has these words got to say ?

2008-12-27T21:06:00.000-08:00

have you ever tried walking for miles and miles ,
jumping and jumping and jumping all the time ?
have you ever felt like just wanted to stop there and not move but you cant and you need to move on ..
i tried that .
it felt like you were living off your last breath and you had nothing to hold onto ,
you would feel like you had lost every other person and there wasn't anyone there .

i felt so close to dying .
and all i asked for was YOU .

ahh . okay . tht was how i felt when mr chen was asking us to do those extremely tiring thingy .
but it was only THE TRUTH !
ahhh . i missed jona really badly back then !

but we still have to go for training and just get over with it .
the boys started coming and we were bathing .
even people started bathing in the boys toilet !
haha .
but it was fun fun:D

the teachers were starting th fire :}
thenthen , rebecca had some really nice mango puddings JUST FOR THE C GIRLS :}
thanks manager ;D

the bbq was THE bomb . so much chicken wings and fooddddddd !
it was friggin nice and well i hadd funnn funn .
THANK YOU TEACHERS :D

volleyball camp was fun fun !

baby , what more can i say ? you said i'll be okay .

2008-12-19T23:13:00.000-08:00

today , yesterday , the day before .
were the happiest day of my life .
i could have never ask for more .

the way your lips touched mine ,
the way you hold me in your arms ,
your hands that held me ever so tightly .
i'm glad i'm with you .

its feels like i need you beside me to breathe .

i love you , jonathan lua .
171208 :}